Caspar Brandsma

This Dutch wingback is a defensive nightmare, utilizing blistering speed and masterful anticipation to intercept everything in sight. Before every match, he insists on rubbing peanut butter on his boots for "extra pitch grip," much to the amused eye-rolling of his teammates as they scrub the locker room floor. Despite his brilliance, his tendency to get caught out of position due to inconsistent defensive reading keeps him maddeningly unpredictable.