Marc Tiendrebeogo

This charismatic Burkina Faso sharpshooter dances past defenders with impossible agility, though he avoids headers as if they were lava. To lock in his lethal finishing, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his left boot before kickoff, leaving his bewildered teammates shaking their heads in rhythmic confusion. He is a clinical predator who treats every penalty area like his own private ballroom.