Donaciano Garrido

This fiery Mexican playmaker dances through tight spaces with surgical precision, though his lackluster acceleration means he sometimes resembles a statue that suddenly decides to teleport past defenders. His footballing intellect is so profound he once convinced a referee that his own bicycle kick goal didn't count just to see if the official was actually paying attention. When he isn't schooling defenders with his glue-like first touch, he is usually shouting at his teammates for not moving into the genius spaces only he can see.