René Derycke

This lightning-fast Belgian center-back dominates with pure power, though he hilariously struggles to win a header despite his imposing frame. Before every kick-off, he insists on loudly reciting nursery rhymes to his shin guards, leaving his teammates both deeply embarrassed and terrified of his sheer arrogance. His cocky mentality keeps him sprinting box-to-box with ease, mocking anyone who thinks they can outpace him.