Petrit Kurti

A lethal attacking midfielder with mesmerizing dribbling and high-tier tactical intuition, he dissects defenses before unleashing thunderous long shots with unmatched swagger. He insists on slicking his nose with hair gel before every match for 'aerodynamics,' a bizarre ritual that leaves his teammates cringing every time he lines up in the tunnel. Despite his lack of explosive acceleration, his sheer arrogance on the ball makes him an absolute nightmare for any defender.