Rob Corti

This lightning-fast Italian titan dominates the defensive line with terrifying aggression and near-impossible aerial control. He maintains focus by meticulously arranging exactly seven blades of grass in his left glove before kick-off, a ritual his bewildered teammates ignore while bracing for his explosive tackles. Despite his flawless defensive technique, he carries an infuriating tendency to aggressively argue with the stadium clock if he feels it is ticking too slowly.